How to Not Let Your Fear of Food Ruin Your Holidays

Two disclaimers as we start here:

1- Yes, after another hiatus of not blogging, I am at it again. I am also working on a new mindset and a new way of taking care of myself and I will blog about that very soon. But today I wanted to focus on what I am currently learning and practicing which is intuitive eating. I promise I will fill everyone in about it soon.

2- I am not a doctor, therapist, nutritionist, dietician, or anyone with any sort of formal training in eating, diet choices, food knowledge, etc. I am simply sharing with what I have been learning/practicing and tips from what I have learned and what I will be implementing for the holidays. I am sure there are more qualified people who can give you more information if you do not find mine helpful and I support you finding those resources. Again, I am just a regular person sharing what I am trying out for MY health.

Alright, let’s get into some stuff. Long story short (and as I said above, I will share the long story), I am learning and practicing intuitive eating to heal my relationship with food. I am working tirelessly to repair this relationship, heal my binge eating disorder, and learning to love and trust my body again. There is a lot to this practice and I am currently reading three different books to learn these skills. I will talk way more about these books, but if you’re interested in starting your own path of healing your relationship with your body and food, you can fine these books here, here, and here. I 10/10 recommend them! Also, there is work involved with these books, so I suggest you get a journal or notebook you love and really do the tasks they suggest.

If you don’t struggle with these things, then this blog may not be very interesting to you. But if you do struggle with these things, then the holidays can be terrifying.

If you’re anything like me, you’re worried about a few different scenarios… or sometimes all of them at once as you begin to spiral down. Will you lose all control and totally binge and feel like shit when you’re done and then constantly worry you put on weight? Will other people be judging what you are eating? Should you not eat all day to compensate? Should you double or triple up on your workout the day of and the day after? Will people be mad if you don’t try their dish? Should you just say fuck it and eat out of control the day of and then since you “messed up” just continue binging all weekend?

Look, I get it. These have been my fears in social situations for years. And it makes you not want to go. It takes away your want of being social. It makes you not excited to see people you care about. And it makes you not excited to eat foods you really like and enjoy (Psstt… it’s okay to like and enjoy food… even if you consider it “bad” food). But I am here to share the plan I have and the tips I will be using for the holidays. And I promise that it will allow you to enjoy the yummy food you like, while also loving and respecting your body, and enjoying the holiday (unless you have like a racist/creepy/rude uncle or something… I can’t give tips on that).

Tips for a Fear-Free Holiday:

• Don’t skip any meals that day. Eat breakfast and lunch (or whatever meals make sense depending on when your holiday meal is) and enjoy them! Focus on balancing your meals. My favorite way to do that is having one thing you want and one thing you need. So breakfast might be a toaster strudel (want) and protein yogurt (need). Or focusing on fiber filled foods, proteins, fruits, veggies, grains, etc! Or, ya know what? If a pop tart sounds amazing, eat that and add in an orange to keep you satiated. It’s all about what makes your body feel good, and trust me, skipping a meal isn’t it.

• Should you work out? Thursday work outs are one of my favorite of the week, so I am going to do mine. But I am not doing it to burn calories for later or to punish myself. I am doing it because I genuinely love the work out and it will give me some extra energy for the day. So do your work out if it feels good… but don’t do it to punish yourself or to earn food later.

• Wear the outfit you love and what makes you feel amazing. Don’t worry what anyone else is going to think about what you choose. And look in the mirror before you go, thank your body for everything it does for you, and give your hot ass a compliment.

• Once you are at your Thanksgiving meal, I want you to not give a fuck what anyone has to say. NO ONE is allowed to talk about your body, what you wear, what you look like, what you eat, etc etc. I don’t care how they are related to you, they are not allowed to comment. I suggest you find and practice good responses before you go if you’re like me and you clam up when people are shitty to you. I am not worried about needing comebacks where I am going, but I do have 2 practiced just in case. They are: “Wow, what a weird thing to say out loud” and “Yea, that’s none of your business and super rude of you to say.” I am in the mindset now to make people feel uncomfortable when they say shit they shouldn’t and hopefully it teaches them to stop saying shit that’s backhanded or rude. You are in charge of YOU and no one gets to dictate otherwise. A quick recap: fuck em. And I will always have your back.

• Now we get to food. First of all, we are not calorie counting. Period. When it comes to practicing intuitive eating, like I mentioned above, a lot of it comes down to having something you want and need. Or creating balance on your plate by including vegetables, fruit, fiber, and protein. But let’s get real. Not many Thanksgiving dinners have a heaping portion of vegetables how you prefer them prepared or a huge fruit plate. And it’s a holiday. You are allowed to give yourself permission to enjoy the holiday food how you want to. The rules and guidelines are what you choose. I sat and thought about this and how I was going to eat intuitively without saying “screw it” and binge. Here is my plan: I am going to put the food on my plate that I enjoy. Like I don’t care about turkey, so I am not having turkey. I don’t care about green bean casserole, so I won’t have it. I will put on my plate moderate amounts of what I enjoy. Then I will sit down and enjoy the people and conversation around me, while also paying attention to what my body tells me. Do I not like something? Cool, I will stop eating it and move on to something else. Am I still hungry? Cool, I will go in line again and get more of what I enjoyed. Am I full? Great, I will stop eating. I will pause and listen to what my body says, as it knows best.

• Again let me say that no one is allowed to judge your food. It’s okay if you don’t like something. You’re a mature adult, just don’t eat it. You don’t have to eat anything if you don’t like it… even if your grandma made it. It’s okay! You want seconds or thirds on something you enjoyed and something that makes your body feel good? Awesome! Get it! And tell anyone who makes a comment about you getting more food that they’re really weird to care about it and must be bored in their own life to be paying attention to what you’re eating.

• Eat dessert. If there is a dessert you know you love or want to try or… anything, eat it! You have permission to do what your body wants and to not feel bad about it!!!

• Hungry when you get home? Check in with your body… what would feel good? AND EAT! Again, it’s okay.

• I don’t think I need to say this, but don’t punish yourself on Friday with not eating or over exercising. Go back to balance on your plate and filling your body with what nourishes it.

This is truly the first holiday that I am not mentally freaking out about. I am not worried about the food or feeling out of control. I am not scared to eat too much and look gross. I am not so fearful to the point that it’s going to put me in a bad mood when I am there. This is truly the first time I am looking forward to a holiday and feel so in control and at peace with my body. Plus we have matching t-shirts to wear!

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving and I support you 100%. You are not alone and you deserve to love your body, to have food freedom, and to feel safe a secure. I am with you and we will do this together! My next blog will be more about intuitive eating and what I am working on big picture. Love you all!