Day 10 & 11: I missed a day of blogging, which I will talk about below, so I don’t get to fill in that box on my chart. But, it’s alright. I’m not beating myself up over one day. The two days were good though. Thursday I did two separate treadmill workouts and Friday I did my full body weightlifting routine plus the treadmill. Drank my water, did decent on calories (not 100% great yesterday, but I’m okay with it). All in all I did alright and I’m at 47 days in a row of drinking a gallon of water!
I’m not totally sure where to start with all of this. I guess the disclaimer that is really important for me to give: I know, more than anything, that what is happening in the Ukraine right now has nothing to do with me. I know that I am privileged to not be going through what the Ukrainian people are going through. I am not important when it comes to this subject. And any issues I am feeling due to this situation means nothing compared to what they are all going through. I really, really need everyone to understand that.
Thursday night I was up all night. Like, I didn’t sleep a minute. Then Friday Leonel and I had a packed day of working out, getting donations together for the Ukrainian women and children, lunch at the shop, organizing donations, cleaning the house, dinner, and bedtime. Needless to say, I was even more tired last night, so a blog post was not going to happen.
I feel like I need such a break from the news and everything happening, but then it makes me feel like such an asshole that I am able to turn it off. Maybe I just need a break from social media. I cannot explain in words how much my mind is racing from what’s going on. I am so upset for the Ukraine citizens. I am so upset for these mothers who are having to take their children to find a safe place to live. I am upset for the father’s having to leave their families to fight this fight. I am more than terrified that this is going to be a huge war. I am just at the edge of my seat. I read everything I can find about it. I watch everything I can find about it. I cry. And it is now keeping me from sleeping for now two nights in a row (barely slept last night either). I just don’t know what to do. I want a break from it, but who in the hell am I to think I can just do that.
I don’t know. I hate this feeling of just constant fear of what I am going to see on my phone next. I don’t know what to do to give myself a little bit of rest.
I had a therapist once tell me that I am one of the biggest empaths she has ever seen. I said isn’t that a good thing? She said no because it is ruining your life and your happiness. Then we just stared at each other. This story really doesn’t mean anything, other than I guess I am an empath and I don’t know how to give myself a break. So here we are.
I also chose a calming photo for this post to inspire some calmness.